Relieve Suffering With Loving Speech and Deep Listening

Me walking and listening to nourishing podcasts on my way to work

The art loving speech and deep listening isn't just about communication; it's about building bridges of empathy and cultivating relationships that thrive on compassion and understanding. In a world where conversations often skim the surface, these practices invite us to slow down, connect, and truly understand one another. Join me in contemplating the practices of deep listening and loving speech to help inspire us to follow a path towards healing, transformation, and joy for ourselves, our families, and society.

The following contemplations are inspired by the “Five Mindfulness Trainings,” inspired by the Buddhist wisdom teachings, and shared with me by the monastics at Plum Village Deer Park whom I recently practiced meditation with at the YMCA Estes Park in Colorado, USA.

I am feeling called towards the practice of deep listening acutely right now, as I navigate several heavy conflicts that have left me confused, hurt, and broken hearted. I want to find the wisdom in the pain and I know listening will be a key part of that learning. I’m dedicating the month of January to contemplating and learning more about the art of loving speech and deep listening. I’ve denoted my personal edits and editions by * and parentheses.

Fourth Mindfulness Training (Practice): Loving Speech and Deep Listening

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people, ethnic and religious groups, and nations.

Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope.

When anger (difficult emotions, despair, hurt, confusion) is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak . I will practice mindful breathing and walking in order to recognize and to look deeply into my anger. I know that the roots of anger can be found in my wrong (distorted) perceptions and lack of understanding of the suffering in myself and in the other person. I will speak and listen in a way that can help myself and the other person to transform suffering and see the way out of difficult situations.

I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to utter words that can cause division or discord.

I will practice Right Diligence to nourish my capacity for understanding, love, joy, and inclusiveness, and gradually transform anger, violence, and fear that lie deep in my consciousness.

*I will speak with responsible language. I will separate observation from evaluation and describe situations without adding my own judgements or interpretations to foster clear, empathic communication.

Bonus Book Recommendation

I have found the book Nonviolent Communication to be so helpful in learning better ways to communicate and connect with my tribe. I see there is also a Center For Non Violent Communication Website which has a lot of offerings as well.